It's a sad day. Authors Online: R.I.P. - 7th November 2014.

Authors Online have succumbed to Create Space's market killing promises of free publishing for novelists.

If you are based in the United States, or if you wish to indulge in a vanity press publication for you, your friends and your family, what more could you want? Excellent service.
Indeed, the book of short stories I was lucky enough to be involved with, Between Stops, was published via Create Space, and an excellent book it is too! Very happy with the service, for the most part.
[Potential IRS tax issues, as with Kindle, but that's a whole nother ball game, which you can have fun with yourselves.]

What Create Space doesn't mention, is the fact that they appear to be utterly uninterested in linking up with UK wholesalers; and, in turn, UK wholesalers are wary of taking books from them without a guarantee of quality. The result of these two things being that UK bookshops are unable to stock your Create Space published novels.
Create Space have confirmed it is okay to set yourself up as the UK distributor - but that kind of defeats the whole 'I'm a writer living in a cave' scenario. Let's face it, I'm anti-social and lazy, and unwilling to lug my wares all over the country in the vain hope of maybe selling something. But maybe you're up for it?
The key thing to note, is that it is doable, if you have the time and the inclination. ... Good luck!

Instead of doing that, I have updated my book links, and am now trying to work out the ins and outs of Ingram Spark - Lightning Source's publishing arm.
Luckily, Authors Online, the wonderful people that they are / were(?) - even beyond the grave - have been chatting to Ingram Spark, and they should be able to facilitate authors who have registered with Ingram Spark in moving their books across. Apparently with no need to change the ISBN's, they say.
There's probably much more the author will need to do, but I'm still investigating.
If you are one of us several thousand authors affected, there is only a short time window - two weeks - while Authors Online are still going through their death throes and cleaning up the blood and guts, as they fall into their grave. Organised and tidy people that they are.

I will miss them. They made life easy.

The mysteries of cover design and art / artists and colour saturation, and margin width and necessary number of pages to fill the required book width, etc., etc., were all things I'd never even considered before attempting self-publishing. I may have developed vague inklings about the need for them in the last several years, but now I will actually need to know about and understand them.
Still, life is all about learning new things every day. It's interesting.
And complex.
And stressful.
And, ultimately, rewarding and fun.

So while I cry a tear for Authors Online, and thank them for their invaluable help, it is now time for me to take a further step into the dark at the back of the cave. ... I just hope there aren't too many balrogs and other things back there, waiting in the blackness of the unknown.

Happy New Year... Already? Where does the time go?

I seem to have accidentally slipped into a sidestream of the timeline, and have spent my whole time editing, writing ... and also either procrastinating or doing research - whichever term you feel happier with.

I've joined a writers' group a while back, which for once is compatible and actually works for me - which is nice. They want the same sort of things I do, and we all bring our own unique take and strengths to the table. :) Lovely stuff.

As a result we are bringing out a book of short stories, which I will tell you more about nearer the time. We are now ready to finalise the number of tales and the story order. It's very exciting.

In addition to working on this, I've been reading up on grammar and punctuation (which I was never 100% utterly amazing at, just fairly good and very patient at combing through things, plus the rules keep effing changing!), and I've been helping to edit both other people's work (the mad fools) and my own. I've even managed a bit of writing. Woo hoo!

A newly proofed version of The Grim will be out later this year - hopefully with fewer gaffs and punctuation errors.

The MS has tried to rear its ugly head a few times, but so far I've managed to bash it back down and get it mostly under control - although the exhaustion is something I'm having to learn to work around.

And I've been adoped by a stray cat. She's a black and white lovely, very demanding, but a purrfect companion in many respects. She replaces my Monster, who was killed in a hit & run nearly two years ago. He and the other ghost cats come and visit regularly, and Pushca (not Russian, its short for Pushy Cat) doesn't seem to mind. Although she does stare at Dereck when he visits.

So what else has been going on?

I loved The Hobbit, and The Desolation of Smaug. Also the new series of Sherlock looks like it's going to be fun. The 50 year anniversary of Doctor Who was great. A little disappointed by the change over episode - in the past they have always been hair-raising stuff. This time it seemed to be more of a by-the-numbers, not-really-trying to worry about the cliff-hanger factor, adrenaline-free afair ... or maybe I'm just getting really jaded in my old age. Having said that some of the episodes have been brilliant.
I enjoyed Vicious. And there have been quite a few comedy and police/crime things on that have been great... titles escape me for the moment. I shall blame my MS and the tiredness factor, which is currently kicking in, for the memory lapse. There have been a lot of good films. Again, the titles elude me at present.
And many other things I've enjoyed too, but I have to go and lie down in a darkened corner for a bit and recoup my energy and get my brain working again. Sorry. Please bear with me.

Have a great 2014, I know I will.

How long?!

It's been a while since I posted last. Didn't realise it had been quite that long. I've been busy, busy! ... mostly dealing with bullsh*t, stress, and trying to keep my head above water - oh, yes. Nearly forgot, I've also been writing! Hoorah!

For any writers who happen to have to take MS drugs, one of the side effects I've noticed (aside from my body refusing to let me take any of them) is that they kill the creative part of the brain - including dreaming! So that's not acceptable. Maybe you'll be different? I hope so.
Well, finally ditched the latest drug... And several months later dreaming and creativity are back! Yay! (I'm now thinking the drug approach for MS is probably not for me ... until they come up with something a heck of a lot better.) Oddly enough, the editing part of the brain seems to survive unscathed. So Swank, Jelinek, Graham, Wahls, etc and the diet approach appears to be my main / only option for controlling MS. *sigh* Ah, well. Such is life.

So, writing... yay! I've been having fun on several different projects. And I'm investigating the possibilty of another novel. So, lots to do!

It may be a while before I get around to posting again, so I apologise in advance. In the meantime, Ripper Street. I enjoyed that.
And I spent some money on Person Of Interest - it's much better without the advert breaks, when you can watch the episodes back-to-back. ... And the villain of the series? Hooray! I'll shut up, that episode hasn't aired yet. Looking forward to the next series.
I've also been getting my Vampire research flowing, with Forever Knight and Bloodties. Both Canadian, both well worth watching if you've not already seen them. Forever Knight takes most of the first series to find its stride, but after that... *smile*

Anyhoo, ... I'd better get back to writing.

(If you're that way inclined:) Have fun with the death cult resurrection celebration! - Any excuse for chocolate, eh?

An annoyingly 'interesting' year so far...

Well, my writing plan was interrupted slightly - okay, that's an understatement. It was interrupted a lot.

A brief recap of the year so far:

January 2012 - The MS tried to inflict another attack on me while everything medical was shut for New Year. Great. Thanks for that. - - The second everything opened again I was obtaining meds ASAP. Got the MS attack under control. Phew!A little later my day job came to the end of its contract and I set about converting The Grim into a novella. (It is currently available on Kindle The Grim - if anyone is interested in posting a review I'm sure a free copy can be located, please email me? The hard copy of the novella should be out in the next few weeks / months? (depending on whether you prefer to buy direct from the publisher, or wait for Amazon to get their act together.) I'll post again, with links, when it is.
[My contact at the self publishing company - Authors Online said that it was not normally something she would read, but she could not put it down! Hooray!]
Towards the end of the month I got to see my MS spcialist again and this time there was enough evidence for a diagnosis. It's official, I have multiple sclerosis - currently of the relapsing / remitting variety.So life had decided to be "interesting" at me. *Gnashing of teeth*
You may remember that I told myself I should have kept my mouth shut.
... Mind you, I suspect I had my first attacks when I was 15, I would joke with my friend that I had "tripped over the wall!" I was walking next too. There was nothing on the floor I could have tripped on, not even a matchstick! But thankfully stayed in remission for many, many years, at least visibly on the surface. Until August 2011, when it mangled me. Grr!
Ah well, such is life... back to writing!
February - the day job asks me to come back earlier than expected for the spring garden season, so I do - part time because the MS has a fatigue element that prevents anything more strenuous. And I write in my spare time, when I am able to; the text is finally done, and I love the artwork! (Thank you, Siobhan)
All I have to do is apply a final set of tweeks and a read-through to make sure everything is in order ... except ...
... 12th March onwards, The MS meds they have put me on have side effects, as they all do, but because I'm such a delicate flower - - STOP COUGHING AT THE BACK! - - (my specialist nurse knows of only one other person under her care who has had a similar initial reaction to this particular drug.) one of the many wonderful side effects was to destroy my ability to concentrate; as well as highlight all my symptoms; and ... a lovely one ... to destroy my liver ... !Eek! Better come off that drug then. Grr.
So that's March and 10 days of April lost to side effects.(The hope / my hope was that my body would get used to the drug. But the blood tests I eventually took prooved that wasn't happening, and that it was screwing up my liver enzymes. ARGH!)
Having come off the drugs, the effects have wained, and my liver is finally back to normal - mid to late May.

So now it's time to crack on with the writing, when the MS allows - which is not as frequently as I would like, ... mainly because I am devoting a lot of my time to reading up on MS in order to find out how to nutralize this effing disease, since I am unlikely to be able to use the normal interferon modifiers.
Although there is a new tablet coming out in a few months - fingers crossed it might be more suitable to my 'delicate nature';
But in the mean time, diet seems to be a key factor that I've tripped over in my reading. Although it's blinking strict and will take some getting used to, I also need to finish reading up on it. (I bought several tomes that I've only just started to wade through.)
Then there's the house hunting, and the form filling, and the doctors and nurses appointments. Family and friends.
And of course the actual thing I am supposed to be doing, the writing!
Wish me luck!

End of year update

What happened to me this year, you ask? Except you probably didn't. But you're here, so I'm going to do my best to remember, and tell you anyway.

It's a little difficult, as my memory sucks at the best of times, and my computer committed suicide in late September taking most of the useful links and information I had stored with it. - - Thank goodness for external back up drives! So at least I managed to keep the majority of my writing and important documentation safe. Phew! (Heck, I print out the important stuff as soon as I get it. Well, you have to don't you. That's what filing cabinets and recordable CDs are for.)

The highlights as I remember them were:

January - rewrite, rewrite, rewrite.
February get manipulated / bullied into eventually signing (in March) a contract with Paul Dawson, who then proceeded to try to screw over me and the other three people who were intent on making the film trilogy we were talking about. ... Managed to get a day job which lasted all of 5 days - thanks for that. Cheap labour required. I made the mistake of trying to be helpful, since they had me updating their company letterhead with their new version, of pointing out on my first day that they needed to quote their company number and registered address on it in order to comply with Limited Company status regulations. Next thing you know all my office admin training (specific to them) was over and I spent the next 4 days sweeping the floors and tidying the yard. Crap company all over. Sod 'em.
March - finally twigged what was going on with PDs attempted screw job and spent the next several weeks trying to get him to return full rights to me as he had confirmed he had no intention of making the film, so that myself and the other three could get on with trying to find a producer who actually knows the job and go about raising funding. Had to get the union involved before he eventually caved and finally did the decent thing.
April - all rights eventually returned to me. Thank f**k. ... lesson learned: Never sign anything without a solicitor involved, no matter how tempting, or how pressurised the 'it's only an agreement at this stage' may turn out to be. In my opinion, if he wasn't so blinded by the bright lights of Hollywood, he would make an excellent conman, he already has all the tactics and the gift-of-the-gab skills required for such a nefarious trade. ... Landed another day job working in an excellent garden centre, with excellent people, and plenty of green growing things to look at (which is one of the requirements of my cave-dwelling lifestyle) and learn about while I sell them to the general public. Lovely people.
May - rewrite, research then adjust accordingly and rewrite, speak with director, rewrite,
June - rewrite again, tweak, director's notes, rewrite.
July - Day job contract ends, they tell me to reapply at the end of August for the Christmas contract. Very happy. ... Rewrite, director's notes, rewrite. It's getting there! Hoorah! ... get a day job working in sales - - given lurgy by the boss at the interview near the end of the month. Thanks for that.
August - work through the lurgy, even though all I want to do is curl up and die. Boss then gives all of us another variation on the lurgy-- Which in my case attacks my brain, and -- in the same day that he tells me I'm not aggressive enough for sales, I realise I can't see properly out of one of my eyes, and my balance that has been getting progressively worse over the previous four days sends my foot coordination and spacial awareness to hell in a handcart. So, spent mid August in hospital A&E being poked and prodded and MRI'd, followed by spending the night for observation, knowing that when I get out I have to find a new job as soon as I can function again. Deep joy. On a massive dose of steroids to bring down the brain inflammation so that my own white cells will stop trying to kill me! It worked and stopped the symptoms from getting any worse. Phew! ... Contacted the garden centre, they were very pleased to hear from me and told me to fill in the application form they are posting.
September - Still can't balance properly, still only partial vision in the affected eye. ... Working at the main tills in the garden centre (rather than the plant centre tills which I prefer) as the mad dash to Christmas gradually ramps up, and shoppers start the whole shop-til-you-drop insanity.
October - Manning the tills full-time ... oh, and I've got to get some paperwork ready for the Trilogy plan for the second and third scripts so the director can take them to the American Film Market in November, if he's able to raise enough funding for the trip. - - Eek! Quickly reverse engineer a treatment for the first film, and then spend all my spare time getting the plot, character arcs, new villains and old villains worked out and then written up into treatments for the second and third films. Director seems pleased with the results.
November - Director decides not to go to the AFM after all, but take them to the Berlin festival in February (which will probably be a better fit?) ... So I breath a silent sigh of relief and collapse in a heap and try to recover from this dratted brain malarkey in my spare time away from the day job.
December - still dealing with shop-til-you-drop insanity in the day job, and coming up to Christmas am just about feeling the effects of needing to write or go nuts. Begin to plan my next writing projects - but family and Christmas prevent me from doing anything much beyond mental planning and some research. Realise I haven't been reading the blogs or keeping up to date with what's what since I got the brain thing in mid August. Bum!

Oh yeah - my car committed suicide in August just after my brain did, and my computer committed suicide in late September. Got it up and limping again by early October. Not properly fixed until mid November - when I finally had time to devote to all the updates, and programs, email etc, that I need on it. Er, and my Neurology Consultant thinks I probably have MS, but more tests are needed. Apparently living in the Wild West and having a Scandinavian Grandmother may both be a risk factors; on the plus side: eye involvement, being female, and being relatively young are all positive factors. But then they don't really know anything about MS. We'll find out more about that next year.

Blinking heck! This has been an overly interesting year. (on the plus side, lots of great experiences and perspectives for story) ... And I haven't even mentioned all the family trauma and bollocks that I've had to work through all year. If it's not one of them giving me problems to solve, it's another. - - But then again, I guess that's what family is for. ;)

Hopefully next year will be a little bit easier to deal with? Although I won't hold my breath. ... With a bit of luck the Trilogy will finally get some funding, and if not, well I am starting my next project (a novel and its accompanying screenplay) - I hope to have both done by mid year (unless the joyful happiness of the Trilogy delays things a bit.) Here's hoping!

Despite everything, I've enjoyed 2011. It's been an eye-opener, to say the least. (sick joke included on purpose) Heck, you only need one that actually works. ;)

The Agony Of Writing - Part II : Rewrite (part 1)

Rewrite.

I think obsession is an important quality to have when it comes time to rewrite. But you also have to know when to turn the obsession off and move on.... If you find a script is laughing at you, I tend to throw it in the corner of the room for a while, to laugh silently at me, until I can work out how to fix the darned thing.

Frustration can be a part of the rewrite process too, it usually means I've missed something really basic - like an aspect of character. Which tends to reveal flaws within my own character.... Oh joy! Isn't the writing process fun! Self-discovery: AARGH! ;)

Stamina is another important quality to have, I'm finding out more about mine all the time. Sticktoitivity is my other word for it. ;) Bums on seats. Get typing! Get it done! ... ... I bought a fridge magnet last year: "The lift to success is broken please use the stairs." - a useful reminder that writing is not a 'get rich quick' scheme, no matter how much you want it to be.*

Plenty of other writers, better than I, have covered Rewrite on their blogs and websites. ... And I'm sure I shall write more on the subject in the future, which is why I have called this part 1.

But right now I'm procrastinating when I'm supposed to be writing (amongst other things)... so, as I said in the previous post, I'd better get on with it!

*NB: I don't write because I want to get rich. I write because I NEED to write. If that should happen to lead to a career that actually pays enough money to live on, that would be a spectacular bonus. But it's not my primary driver.

The Agony Of Writing - Part III : The Synopsis

Yeah, I know. What happened to Part II? Well, I'm saving that for a little later. So, what is Part III?

The Synopsis

It is worse than writing the damned story. Harder. How the heck do I do this?!!!
...I'm hoping it gets easier. I suspect it won't. It's like having to do homework: a really tough essay for a subject that you previously loved.

You've been bashing your head into the wall for weeks trying to work out how the F to write one. You've read all the helpful notes other people have put out there on the subject. And it is still impossible. Your eyes are bleeding from the mental strain of trying to wrap your brain around it.

I was reminded of this last night by a panicked phone call from a friend of mine. He has written the most amazing, wonderful (you b*st*rd Clive! I'm envious!*) book and is currently wrestling with The Synopsis in preparation for sending it to an agent. "Help!" he cried. ... There may even have been tears?

He'd written out the plot, beat by beat, as you should. And then hit the wall when he came to shorten it.

What all the helpful suggestions from other writers don't really cover properly, is the fact that you need three documents.

1) The Plot document
2) The Emotion document
3) The Suspense / Surprise document

So you have** to go through your story again, and write all the emotion beats. Then you have to go through your story again and write all the cliffhangers and twists and interesting gripping stuff. ... and then shorten all of these documents into a manageable size - I recommend one at a time, otherwise the whole thing seems far too gargantuan to contemplate. ... And then somehow you need to merge all three documents into one. ... And then shorten that.

One of the good things about screenwriting is the art of "25 words or less". It's easier than the synopsis, by miles, but it teaches you a bit about being concise and boiling your story down to something bite-size ... which is the whole art of The Synopsis.

He says I helped. He now has a plan. I hope I did. And maybe this can help you too?

Any additional suggestions from others on The Art*** Of The Synopsis would be very welcome!

By-the-by, I think my eventual "Eureka!" moment was triggered by a post on Jane Espenson's blog (see the side bar for a link) which gave a 'how to' on incorporating emotion into the dusty synopsis process, in order to grip producers by the brains/balls and not let go!


*He's one of those annoying sods who can just sit down and it pours out, in order, without much need to plan, or go back and redo half the darned thing. Where as I have stories that sit in the corner of the room laughing at me for years, over a decade in one case - because I read them through and something isn't quite working. And then you realize you have to go back and fix THIS! which changes half the darned plot and you've got to rewrite half the b*gger from start to finish. And if only you'd planned it all out first! And ... I've become an advocate of 'The Plan'. My first screenplay, my very first screenplay wrote itself; and it was good. And it took me a lot of heartache through repeated 'it's not bl**dy working!' to finally realise the truth. 'The Plan' is a good idea. *Copious swearing*

**The word HAVE is a little strong, - like the French devoir - You don't HAVE to do any of this. It's just my opinion, and you should take it with a very large pinch of salt much like all my other witterings. It's just my humble suggestion, but the ego in me says YOU MUST!, which then comes out in my writing. Sorry. It's just my opinion, feel free to ignore it and make your own minds up. Do what works for you, that's the important thing with writing.

***It's a CRAFT! Just like writing... Daniel Martin Eckhart has a great post about the craft of writing. He and Philip Morton really speak to me. If you are searching for screenwriting inspiration / information, I recommend a look-see at both.

The Agony Of Writing - Part I : Self Doubt

Self Doubt.

We all have it. (And if you don't maybe you should hang up your pencil and go experience some LIFE instead?)

It comes on many levels, but I'm only going into the one that I'm being currently reminded of ... I'm nearing the end of the current rewrite, and shortly I will have to put pen back to paper to embark upon/complete a new story.

You've finally written something you really like (and rewritten it to death. ARGH!*). But now you have to come up with a new story. It can't possibly be as good as the last one. You can't write, heck, you've forgotten how to spell the word "and" - you know it's short and it's got three letters, and there's an 'n' in it somewhere; but can you remember how to spell it? No.** For that matter "it" is a little perplexing too.***

There is no way you can come up with something that is anywhere near as good. You've read the first story back, and you don't have a clue how you came up with it. There are words in it that you didn't even know you knew. It's far too good to have possibly been written by you. But you remember doing it. You remember the joyous little victories of coming up with the perfect word, that sentence structure that was so crucial to making the story flow perfectly, the weird dreams that you woke up with in the morning that allowed you to crack this or that character / plot problem, which you then feverishly wrote ASAP before breakfast. AND THERE IS NO WAY THAT YOU WILL EVER BE ABLE TO DO IT AGAIN!

It's so depressing, you should give up now!

Except you can't. Because then you'd go properly insane, rather than just be the weirdo nutter that you are now. And you know how twisted your innermost thoughts are. Releasing those upon the world in any form other than fiction ... well a gibbering drooling wreck in the corner of a padded cell is possibly a preferable option.

So you have no choice.

You have to keep writing.

It's who you are.

[One day I have to read Stephen King's book on the subject. Yeah, I know, I should have bought it when it first came out ... but it seemed that little bit too close to home for comfort. And I'm still preparing myself for that journey. - - It's probably no where near as bad as I imagine. But, what if it's worse? ARGH!]

So you write, because that's who you are, but you don't know how, and that not knowing is terror! It calls into question your very reason for living, for being. And, what if one day, today? you find you can't plumb that well? Except you force yourself to sit down. Bum on seat. And have at it! "Once more into the breach..." and all of that. You have to.

And that's just one form (among many) of The Agony Of Writing.



*I suspect rewrite will be Part II of The Agony Of Writing)

**The Ancient Greeks had a part of grammar called the optative. I wish we had it in the English language. I'd use it all the time. ... It allows you to write a question and an exclamation at the same time without having to faff about punctuation. I suspect it would also allow you to write a rhetorical question without any of the confusion of misconstrued punctuation, as well. Okay, I suck at grammar - and at Ancient Greek - but this is such a useful little writing knick-knack, we really should have adopted it. Like 'Zero' is such a useful little knick-knack for maths.

***This really happened to me, shortly after I'd completed my English Language 'O' Level, during a class assignment. I froze, stared at the page, eventually thought "B*gger it!* left a three letter space and wrote the rest of the paragraph figuring I'd remember how sooner or later. Sure enough, three paragraphs later (or it may have been one?) the 'spelling' inflicted itself upon my maladjusted brain. You try writing three paragraphs without using the word "and"....

Working towards validation

You find encouragement in the strangest places! ;)

"congratulations: You’re a writer, and the reason you’re good at it is because your life kinda sucks." Daniel Thomsen c/o John August

Of course, whether I am any good at it* is a matter for history to deliver a verdict upon. ... So far the signs are encouraging though.
Then again, I could be hallucinating again. :)

The whole post is worth reading (if you haven't already?), whether you are interested in writing for TV or film, so I recommend following the link and giving your eyeballs some quotable treats.

*writing - you gutter minds

Oops, I dropped the phone! - A.K.A. Living dangerously

There's a story I read online a few years back - presumably on a screenwriter's or producer's blog IF YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS SO I CAN LINK TO IT, PLEASE POINT ME TO IT? - The story is roughly along the lines of a cautionary tale:

Basically, a producer [I'm going to say HE, but it could just as easily be SHE] was asked how he dealt with a writer (specifically writers new to the business?) who asked for more money, perks, etc than he wanted to give them. The producer responded, that's easy, I hang up noisily, then ring them back and apologise for the unexpected hang up, tell them I dropped the phone, and then instantly launch in to: well that figure that we agreed of X (X being LOWER/WORSE than the amount the writer was talking about) ... and bulldozes through the rest of the conversation from there. Summing up his anecdote with: This tactic is great! It works every time!

For any writer who encounters this, I would suggest that the correct response is to either tell them what for, or if you are in too much shock to know how to respond, just hang up on the Producer.

I know you don't want to, he believes in you, he's talking about making your film!
But hang up on him anyway. And then go for a walk, while you figure out how you feel about this champion who turned out to be more concerned about his own cut than your welfare: your ability to pay for essentials like food and rent, your career. ... He's "A PRODUCER", why are you surprised? - - It's not nice behaviour, it's certainly not professional behaviour on their part, but it happens.

And in a business that is built on trust, it is a BAD IDEA.

He/she will ring back. (Probably.)
Your screenplay attracted them enough that they want to nail you to a deal - - from your point of view a crappy deal. They will ring back. And you need to be prepared to handle them when they do ... or get an intermediary to do it for you. (It's only one of the many reasons why the elusive AGENT, or ENTERTAINMENT ATTORNEY/SOLICITOR is a sought after commodity)

Any producers reading this who think, "Hey, that's a good wheeze! I'll try it!" I would recommend that you don't. YOU WILL LOSE THE WRITER'S TRUST (also their goodwill). YOU WILL BE STABBING YOURSELF IN THE FOOT! As suggested above: The film industry is one that is built on trust, why throw your reputation away for short term greed?

Especially if you are planning a three picture deal with that writer. ... Pure lunacy.

I know this actually happens. It happened to me, once upon a time.

Never again.

If someone tries to feed you crap, and tells you bullshit is edible, you have to be prepared to walk away.

There are other producers out there.

You're a writer. You have stories. A producer needs stories in order to stay in business. If you behave nicely and play well, then you will always have the upper hand - no matter how much of a social or emotional cripple you are! THEY NEED YOU.

There are more producers swimming in the pond.

Go "Wave your wooden leg!"

...

Right, you've been warned. I'm off back to the cave to write. :)

Trying to find the time....

The day job that I landed at the beginning of the month, is nice - which makes a change from many others I've had in the past. But - -

But, it's not writing.

Finally my financial negative stress is beginning to get under control, and with it the constant f**king headache is evaporated much of the time.

But, right now, I need TIME. TIME for the rewrite. And the day job is getting in the way something horrible. It has replaced financial stress as the main personal creativity-prevention nightmare.

I am managing a few hours every day, but I know I should be spending much more than 'a few'.
(I want to say, sleep can happen to someone else?...?)

So I'd better go get on with that! Writing, that is.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Doesn't matter how many eggs you've got - without a chicken to sit on 'em, you're unlikely to get anymore chickens ...

...

Unless you get one of those heat lamp type nest box thingies? And you've a got a manual to tell you what temperature won't turn them into meringues.


...

I may be suffering some insanity at the moment? ... Mind you, that's normal for me.

RIGHT! BACK TO WRITING!

KILLING CREATIVITY

There are many ways to kill creativity. But one of the most effective I've found so far is negative stress, especially when it is brought on by financial issues.

If your brain is consumed by worries about how you'll pay the electric (so the computer keeps working), never mind the cost of food, it tends to provide real distraction from the essentials: e.g. working out the new shape of the story you're rewriting.

*sigh*

"Suck it up! It's part of the screenwriting journey you wuss!"

Thanks for the pep-talk brain! It really helped. ...


*gnashes teeth* *grumbles* *bashes head into wall repeatedly* *gnashes teeth again*

The Fall....

Notes.

Fun, huh? Specially when they conflict and you are getting different takes from different corners of the globe. *rolls eyes*

Now in a screenplay, conflict is a good thing, desirable. Keeps the audience on their toes and glued to the seat. :) Good stuff.

Conflicting story notes, ... keeps the screenwriter on their toes and glued to the seat. ;) *bangs head against wall*


Apparently the immortal (or near as damnit) has to become mortal. Which, generally, you'd think would be easy enough to change? It's one of those dead simple notes ... that CHANGES THE ENTIRE DARNED SCREENPLAY!

Imagine you have a ghost in your story, but the producer doesn't like ghosts (and presumably wants the killer to be easier for the audience to relate to?) and wants it changed to not be a ghost. So your supernatural horror has just become a serial killer horror.
You still have the word horror in there! What on earth is the problem? Hurry up already-o! Chop-chop! New script NOW please!

It's a bit like being asked to turn a vampire story into a werewolf story ... different rules, you see. Different emphasis applies throughout.
Actually vampires and werewolves is not a good example of what I'm on about. One is slinky and hypnotic and rips your throat out, while the other is slinky and hungry and rips your throat out. ... Well, ... nevermind. They are different types of story, you get the gist.
Think aliens verses chuppacapras; one is science fiction, the other is cryptozoology. Different world rules apply in each. (well, they should, if you want the story to be any good)

*sigh*

Maybe I'm overthinking this?

But internally I need to understand the world I'm writing about. It needs to make sense to me - if no one else.

...

The lifecycle of the fruitfly.

Maybe I should research that instead?

(Is lifecycle one word or two? What about fruitfly?)


*goes back to bashing head against wall*

I think I may have hit bottom and bounced...

You know how sometimes things seem like total sh*t, and just keep getting worse? I've been on that downhill slope since November.
What fun.
[No, it's not fun, not at all, not even a little bit! Can't you detect irony when you read it? Huh?! Huh?! *rolls eyes*]


But suddenly the snow has gone (thank F**K), and it's just about warm enough outside that I am no longer freezing my bits off. The sun has come out after what seems like months of grey (although it's probably only been a few weeks??? Well, since just before Christmas whenever that was.) and the blue sky is finally visible again. :) Hoorah!

And, and... I've just had an email which suggests that 2011 promises to be an interesting year.

I've stopped holding my breath, because that just leads to blue skin and unconsciousness, plus I seem to have been blue-tinged for most of the last month anyway (but that was due to semi-arctic conditions). LOL.

I'd better shut up now, before I accidentally wake up Fate - reminding it that I exist.

Yes, this is one of those intensely annoying writer's posts that hints, but says nothing.
Because it's way to early to even allow hope to consider jumping up and down on the bedsprings. Hope and terror combined. What a joyful combination.
[Did you spot that there irony this time? Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up! you are going to wake up Fate.]

I'm off to hide.

Before it all goes horribly wrong.

Before 'interesting' decides it prefers the other Wild West and abandons me to its Chinese twin.

Hey ho.
Oh, and Happy New Year!

D'AAARRGHHH!

BUM! If I do that, all the characters are going to have to wear filter masks all the time, and it'll look pants on film.

Drat, and double drat.

Where's that bl**dy drawing board got to...?


UPDATE:
Or maybe some kind of powered (unnoticable) nose plug/filter....? Hang on a min, I need to go away and think about this. *gnashes teeth*

Blinking stories! GRRRRRRR!!

The Grim - Update

A.K.A. HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR STORY STAND OUT FROM ALL THE OTHERS?

The very nice gentleman who agreed to read my script, is back from his trip, and has just declined. But I thought that what he said was very interesting, so I am going to share part of it with you:

"I can see what attracted you to this idea, updating a local legend and giving it a novel twist.
Unfortunately I don't think this is right for us at the moment. Part of the issue lies in the sheer volume of supernatural/horror scripts that are in circulation and are being made. With that in mind, it's critical that any additions to the genre have some aspect that make them noticeably stand out or distinguishes them from other similar stories."

I find this feedback extremely positive. Hoorah! - - He didn't tell me to eff-off, he said "at the moment".
But the thought provoking aspect of this is (a) That I write quite a lot of horror of various types, and (b) that it's critical that any additions to the genre have some aspect that make them noticeably stand out or distinguishes them from other similar stories.
Now I thought I'd at least partially achieved that with The Grim, okay it has some vampire-esque qualities, but this is a monster I've never seen before ... novel twist on the legend, and all.... [And IMO has a built in marketing strategy - which is one of the reasons why Producer No#1 got so excited about it (he said as much) before he fell off the planet while searching for funding]

So, what does make one supernatural horror film stand out from another?
Obviously the monster is only part of the story.
Maybe I am too in love with The Thing, and Alien for my own good?

Character - I probably need to watch it again (or even read the screenplay! Yes, I really should have done that already, very remiss.), but Kurt Russell's character in The Thing could have been any of them, he was the leader and had a bit more grit than the others, but no memorable stand out qualities as such (other than his beard? LOL). Kurt Russell is eminently watchable: Snake Pliskin anyone? Jack Burton? Pretty much everyone he's ever played - but those two are stand out characters.
My script doesn't have a Snake, or a Jack, or a Ripley - apparently. I was kind of heading towards Ripley, but I obviously didn't pull it off. *gnashing of teeth* Grr.
So, next rewrite I need to go back and revisit the characters...? (I'll add that to the back burner)

Noticeably stand out or distinguish themselves from other stories in the genre.
Other similar stories. ... *more gnashing of teeth*

Maybe I shouldn't have brought in my hunter? No. He's needed. Do I need to change him? Possibly.

Maybe I need to kill off one of the familiar characters up front - anything can happen! Make the red-shirts a lot less obvious.... ? (Another one to add to the back burner)

Setting? I'm totally happy with the setting. I don't think that's the problem. I could move it to a city, but that would be a different story. IMO Predator didn't work anywhere near as well when they brought it to civilisation, not like The Hidden. Predator's a hunter and needs a location we don't know intimately, somewhere where we feel vulnerable, where we don't know all the rules. Whereas The Hidden is a parasite that needs access to prey, the city is its natural stalking ground. Fallen, similarly needs a population in the near vicinity in order to allow the monster to hide.
So setting gets a tick.

The monster itself? One of the consistent bits of feedback I've had from the majority of people who have read the screenplay in its various incarnations is that they love the monster ... Which leaves me a bit stuck: I could reduce the vampire-esque and increase the demonic, but I think it would loose something if I made it less creature-feature and more spook central. I dunno.

Maybe I should just chuck the whole screenplay in the corner to laugh at me until a later date? - - Then there'll be two of the b*ggers smirking at me every time I look around the room. My Fantasy screenplay laughs at me hysterically every time I cast an eye into its corner. Can I stand two of them doing it?

B*LL*CKS! I'm off to get on with the Science Fiction screenplay.

Time to type.

The Jigsaw

When you finally twig that you are missing a major piece of the plot, after the *facepalm*(*) you can make yourself another coffee and start some serious writing - the type that (as long as the characters are talking to you) involves actually putting words to paper ... or fingers to keyboard.

Darn it all! I wanted to procrastinate a little longer. F**K! That means I need to switch my conscious brain on. Pfft. Grr. *sigh*
GET ON WITH IT!


*or *forehead slap* if, like me, that's what you prefer to call it (unlike every other b*gger out there - and yes, I'm not talking about insects: I'm using English rather than American, and being slightly rude.)

I'm busy doing nothing....

Jason has a great post on THINKING. Which I discovered just now while I was procrastinating as I tried to avoid that very subject - or even as I was immersing myself in it. Not sure which. They tend to be the same thing with me.
You divide your brain up into parts and trick the smallest part into thinking it is actively engaged in something, while the rest of it mulls over stuff. And then suddenly the main part of the brain derails the smaller part, and you put down whatever crap you were distracting yourself with and THE WRITING starts to flow ... At the start of a project this is ideas and inspirations (which I have to write down quick before they vanish); and then later in the project the sieving, refining, focusing, initial plotting; then later again reworking, recombining, replotting, deleting, refocusing, and finally; I start the typing/scribbling part of the process, during which I usually go through all the previous stages several times AGAIN!
Which maybe is why it can take me FOREVER to actually complete a story*.
However when the characters start talking to you it can really speed all of this up, because you already have a 'lock' on the story, whether you realize it consciously or not.
*Or sometimes less than two months (for a two hour feature), start to finish, when the writing really takes over and your active brain has vanished into the mist of creation. And the majority of that two months is thinking time.
Hmmm.

And now I must go write.

What have I been up to?

You really don't want to know, but I'm going to tell you anyway!

Writing.
Failing to get an agent.
Holiday.

Not necessarily in that order.

I rewrote The Grim, again, and have sent it off to be inspected by a very kind chap, who is now "going away for a few weeks" but will "read it when I get back". So hoorah! But instead of waiting I am cracking on with the science fiction screenplay ... I'm in the end stages of collating all my previous ideas, and sorting out the plot - prior to starting the actual writing*.
This is an improvement over biting my nails and gnashing my teeth with the whole suspense of it all. And if I get rejected, so what. I shall keep writing darn you all!

Speaking of rejection, I've had three agents come back to me in the space of three weeks, all saying "Thanks, but no thanks." Which is a pretty quick turn around, considering the timescales they are touting on their websites - means I must be communicating effectively, or they are in a dead phase. Two of them said it wasn't their sort of thing, and one of the rejections was the usual, vague "Never darken my door again!" with threats ... okay I'm joking, but you know the type of rejection I'm talking about - basically they know enough about me from my attempted overtures to know that we would never ever go out on a date together, and if we did, marriage would be right out SO DON'T EVEN GO THERE. *sigh*
Mind you, I think I shall delay my next bout of attacking agents until I've finished the first draft of the science fiction screenplay ... concentrate all my efforts on that, without the petty distractions of World Conquest.

Hoorah! Holiday! That was fun. :)
My friend Lucy** took me away to the Isles of Scilly for a week for our joint "How fricking old are we?" "SHUSSSSSH!" birthday present. Once I get my act together, I shall probably post pictures on my Facebook page.
NB: If you don't like plants, don't even bother - - we were on Tresco and spent much of our time in the Abbey Gardens oohing and aahing over pitcher plants in flower, and puyas: flowering in three different colours (yellow, green and BLUE! Who knew the puya came in blue? Lucy didn't and she's the plant queen.)
Admittedly there are some fairly good shots of islands, and amazing coloured sea, and INTERESTING ROCKS ... What? I'm a boring bastard at the best of times. Tough. Suffer. You have been warned in advance.
Oh, and there was a Borg Cube there, for some reason? It appeared to like it so much that it has deactivated itself and is now pretending to be a sculpture - but I know a Borg Cube when I see one.




*But when I start the actual writing, this is usually the point at which my brain churns out half a dozen ideas for other stories in an effort to derail me, the rat fink.
**Not that Lucy, a different Lucy altogether. - - Heck, that Lucy knows nine million Eleanor's (spelling optional), am I complaining about not knowing who I am anymore? Huh? Huh? - - Easily confused me. Grr.

;)


NB: I've had to turn on comment moderation due to the unremitting spam linking/comments by annoying personages who can't take a hint.
I don't delete you for the fun of it you know! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

UPDATE: 20th June 2010. I've just realized that this pic may be a bit misleading - sure, as Borg Cubes go, this one is small, but the foliage in the foreground makes it look really, really small. I wasn't able to measure it because of the gulf between it and where I was standing, but it is at least man-sized, if not bigger.
Here's another pic, which hopefully shows it better.