An annoyingly 'interesting' year so far...

Well, my writing plan was interrupted slightly - okay, that's an understatement. It was interrupted a lot.

A brief recap of the year so far:

January 2012 - The MS tried to inflict another attack on me while everything medical was shut for New Year. Great. Thanks for that. - - The second everything opened again I was obtaining meds ASAP. Got the MS attack under control. Phew!A little later my day job came to the end of its contract and I set about converting The Grim into a novella. (It is currently available on Kindle The Grim - if anyone is interested in posting a review I'm sure a free copy can be located, please email me? The hard copy of the novella should be out in the next few weeks / months? (depending on whether you prefer to buy direct from the publisher, or wait for Amazon to get their act together.) I'll post again, with links, when it is.
[My contact at the self publishing company - Authors Online said that it was not normally something she would read, but she could not put it down! Hooray!]
Towards the end of the month I got to see my MS spcialist again and this time there was enough evidence for a diagnosis. It's official, I have multiple sclerosis - currently of the relapsing / remitting variety.So life had decided to be "interesting" at me. *Gnashing of teeth*
You may remember that I told myself I should have kept my mouth shut.
... Mind you, I suspect I had my first attacks when I was 15, I would joke with my friend that I had "tripped over the wall!" I was walking next too. There was nothing on the floor I could have tripped on, not even a matchstick! But thankfully stayed in remission for many, many years, at least visibly on the surface. Until August 2011, when it mangled me. Grr!
Ah well, such is life... back to writing!
February - the day job asks me to come back earlier than expected for the spring garden season, so I do - part time because the MS has a fatigue element that prevents anything more strenuous. And I write in my spare time, when I am able to; the text is finally done, and I love the artwork! (Thank you, Siobhan)
All I have to do is apply a final set of tweeks and a read-through to make sure everything is in order ... except ...
... 12th March onwards, The MS meds they have put me on have side effects, as they all do, but because I'm such a delicate flower - - STOP COUGHING AT THE BACK! - - (my specialist nurse knows of only one other person under her care who has had a similar initial reaction to this particular drug.) one of the many wonderful side effects was to destroy my ability to concentrate; as well as highlight all my symptoms; and ... a lovely one ... to destroy my liver ... !Eek! Better come off that drug then. Grr.
So that's March and 10 days of April lost to side effects.(The hope / my hope was that my body would get used to the drug. But the blood tests I eventually took prooved that wasn't happening, and that it was screwing up my liver enzymes. ARGH!)
Having come off the drugs, the effects have wained, and my liver is finally back to normal - mid to late May.

So now it's time to crack on with the writing, when the MS allows - which is not as frequently as I would like, ... mainly because I am devoting a lot of my time to reading up on MS in order to find out how to nutralize this effing disease, since I am unlikely to be able to use the normal interferon modifiers.
Although there is a new tablet coming out in a few months - fingers crossed it might be more suitable to my 'delicate nature';
But in the mean time, diet seems to be a key factor that I've tripped over in my reading. Although it's blinking strict and will take some getting used to, I also need to finish reading up on it. (I bought several tomes that I've only just started to wade through.)
Then there's the house hunting, and the form filling, and the doctors and nurses appointments. Family and friends.
And of course the actual thing I am supposed to be doing, the writing!
Wish me luck!

The Agony Of Writing - Part II : Rewrite (part 1)

Rewrite.

I think obsession is an important quality to have when it comes time to rewrite. But you also have to know when to turn the obsession off and move on.... If you find a script is laughing at you, I tend to throw it in the corner of the room for a while, to laugh silently at me, until I can work out how to fix the darned thing.

Frustration can be a part of the rewrite process too, it usually means I've missed something really basic - like an aspect of character. Which tends to reveal flaws within my own character.... Oh joy! Isn't the writing process fun! Self-discovery: AARGH! ;)

Stamina is another important quality to have, I'm finding out more about mine all the time. Sticktoitivity is my other word for it. ;) Bums on seats. Get typing! Get it done! ... ... I bought a fridge magnet last year: "The lift to success is broken please use the stairs." - a useful reminder that writing is not a 'get rich quick' scheme, no matter how much you want it to be.*

Plenty of other writers, better than I, have covered Rewrite on their blogs and websites. ... And I'm sure I shall write more on the subject in the future, which is why I have called this part 1.

But right now I'm procrastinating when I'm supposed to be writing (amongst other things)... so, as I said in the previous post, I'd better get on with it!

*NB: I don't write because I want to get rich. I write because I NEED to write. If that should happen to lead to a career that actually pays enough money to live on, that would be a spectacular bonus. But it's not my primary driver.

Trying to find the time....

The day job that I landed at the beginning of the month, is nice - which makes a change from many others I've had in the past. But - -

But, it's not writing.

Finally my financial negative stress is beginning to get under control, and with it the constant f**king headache is evaporated much of the time.

But, right now, I need TIME. TIME for the rewrite. And the day job is getting in the way something horrible. It has replaced financial stress as the main personal creativity-prevention nightmare.

I am managing a few hours every day, but I know I should be spending much more than 'a few'.
(I want to say, sleep can happen to someone else?...?)

So I'd better go get on with that! Writing, that is.

KILLING CREATIVITY

There are many ways to kill creativity. But one of the most effective I've found so far is negative stress, especially when it is brought on by financial issues.

If your brain is consumed by worries about how you'll pay the electric (so the computer keeps working), never mind the cost of food, it tends to provide real distraction from the essentials: e.g. working out the new shape of the story you're rewriting.

*sigh*

"Suck it up! It's part of the screenwriting journey you wuss!"

Thanks for the pep-talk brain! It really helped. ...


*gnashes teeth* *grumbles* *bashes head into wall repeatedly* *gnashes teeth again*

The Fall....

Notes.

Fun, huh? Specially when they conflict and you are getting different takes from different corners of the globe. *rolls eyes*

Now in a screenplay, conflict is a good thing, desirable. Keeps the audience on their toes and glued to the seat. :) Good stuff.

Conflicting story notes, ... keeps the screenwriter on their toes and glued to the seat. ;) *bangs head against wall*


Apparently the immortal (or near as damnit) has to become mortal. Which, generally, you'd think would be easy enough to change? It's one of those dead simple notes ... that CHANGES THE ENTIRE DARNED SCREENPLAY!

Imagine you have a ghost in your story, but the producer doesn't like ghosts (and presumably wants the killer to be easier for the audience to relate to?) and wants it changed to not be a ghost. So your supernatural horror has just become a serial killer horror.
You still have the word horror in there! What on earth is the problem? Hurry up already-o! Chop-chop! New script NOW please!

It's a bit like being asked to turn a vampire story into a werewolf story ... different rules, you see. Different emphasis applies throughout.
Actually vampires and werewolves is not a good example of what I'm on about. One is slinky and hypnotic and rips your throat out, while the other is slinky and hungry and rips your throat out. ... Well, ... nevermind. They are different types of story, you get the gist.
Think aliens verses chuppacapras; one is science fiction, the other is cryptozoology. Different world rules apply in each. (well, they should, if you want the story to be any good)

*sigh*

Maybe I'm overthinking this?

But internally I need to understand the world I'm writing about. It needs to make sense to me - if no one else.

...

The lifecycle of the fruitfly.

Maybe I should research that instead?

(Is lifecycle one word or two? What about fruitfly?)


*goes back to bashing head against wall*

Mountain or mole hill?

At what point do we stop worrying?

I suspect never. Afterall each rewrite brings something new, more polished, to the table.

Okay, so you've found your producer, they like it, they want to make it. They give you notes. You tweek accordingly. They appear happy. It's good. They vanish off to locate funding.

Which gives you time to think....

And on reflection you know the story can be better.

If you rip half the story out and start all over again, potentially the next version will knock your - and everyone elses - socks off. ... Or it might not.

The producer is happy with what is there. And there's no guarantee that the new version actually will be better. You might wind up destroying the certain something that attracted them to that particular story in the first place.

Bit of a tight rope to walk.

So you don't. You leave it. And you worry.

You really don't need to.

Either the film will be made, or lets face it - smoke and mirrors - won't be made. It's out of your hands.

Powerless.

All writers are control freaks. Let's face it, crafting a story - influencing your characters lives ... feels pretty close to being a divinity. Even if only in the world you've created.

Being powerless over the fate of your story => fear => worry.

We all go through that fire, that torment. Part of being a writer.

I think once the producer has said yes, they like it, they want to make it, ... I think you are allowed to stop worrying and move onto the next project. Relax, have an hour or two off, and then dive into the next story.

Fires of creation burn better and hotter than the cool fire of torment.

Have at it, says I. On to the next inferno! :)

Which brings me on to the subject of ... rewrites

If you're looking at your story and having a bit of a mare, you might want to check out these posts from the scribosphere:

Phillip Barron on the rewrite process.

DMc on What Happened, What Will Happen, and why the Why It Happened is a big mistake.

And John August has several: This and This and This amongst many others.

There was a long old post on the subject somewhere that I've been trying to find ... but I've run out of time and I've got to get on with the day job. *sigh*

Later.